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Saturday, December 16, 2017

Magic Bus....

This is just a brief bit of random rambling that's been in my head for years......

So, sometimes, I think we have to choose what sort of things are worthy of argument. Ya know? And for me, those things change with time. What once was not worthy of a heated discussion, now may very well be worthy of that and more.

So....Had a bit of a cancer scare in October. Had my first ever 3D mammogram.  Which led to the ultrasound.  And then the needle biopsy.  It wasn't cancer.  

December 2017
It was like 2009 all over again.  Sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  All the memories of surgeries, chemo, baldness....and the way people attempted to comfort me.  One way in particular that really pissed me off and still does to this day is when someone tells you something along the lines of "You really should just try not to worry and stop wasting so much time and energy with being so upset. I mean, we're all going to die, way or another...of something. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow..." And I just sit and smile.... 

Well, I did in 2009 - 2010, but pretty sure Imma have a whole bunch to say back if this kind of shit gets said to me ever again when I am being stressy about bc. 

Yes, the Magic Bus. The one you won't see and just step right out in front of.  Or the one that jumps up on your sidewalk.  

Yes, we all will die of something.  But having had breast cancer, you are kind of put on notice that the chance of it being sooner rather than later just increased. 

Just been on my mind again after the cancer scare. 

So I guess I'm just trying to say that, this kind of "advice" really doesn't do anything but trivialize my feelings and stressyness...and in my eyes, kinda makes you look like an asshole. 

Just sayin'.....

Too much, magic bus.  


Eileen said...

There's something built into the human psyche that keeps healthy humans cushioned, even in denial, about death. It's the same thing you see in teens who think they can abuse their bodies and not pay for it, or people who think if they just keep exercising, they'll get older without growing old and sick. It keeps us sane. That bubble of denial gets popped when you get a cancer scare or diagnosis. It's traumatic and debilitating. People don't get it until it happens to them. Whether they mean well or they're nicely sharing their disgust of us with us, I'm sorry you had to listen to that b.s. while you were in that awful zone, again. xo

LunaTechChick said...

Hey Eileen! Yes, I actually still hear that expression from time to time, but it's usually people speaking about themselves. Like, "may as well enjoy blah, blah, blah, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow...." October was so very difficult with the scare. I've always had my mammos done in September. I've always tried to avoid Pinktober for bc bs...but when we moved, the changing of health insurance to a new state landed me right in October. And then it was ruined. I need a Halloween do over.

Yeah, people just don't understand until it happens to them. How could they? I didn't I probably said that to somebody at some point.

And then it happened.


Anonymous said...

Hi from Madrid, Kimberly! Evelyn speaking:-)

First of all, I am very happy (really!) that your October scare proved to be nothing! I know exactly how it feels, and the sensation of flowing on happiness wings (pardon the cliché but it is real) is so so wonderful!

Totally agree with you about the good old Magic Bus, it annoys us when a "cancer-unconscious" person says it; on the other side, I tell it to myself from time to time to reassure myself...but still it is not the same.

I had never heard about 3D mammograms...they must have not yet arrived to Spain yet ;-)

Hugs and cheers, Kimberly!

Nancy's Point said...

I am soooo glad your October scare turned out okay. I had one myself...Just more proof this cancer crap is never over. People do say insensitive things. No one has ever said that bus expression to me, but gosh, I've heard plenty of other ones suggesting how I should or should not feel. And of course, I've been told I'm too negative and too angry. Why do people think they have the right to tell anyone else how to feel anyway? Unfortunately, there are more than a few assholes out there. Thanks for the post. And happy holidays to you and yours. xo

LunaTechChick said...

Happy Holidays to you too Nancy! Yeah, way too many people think it's up to them to allow others to feel this way or that. Well, too bad if my natural feelings make someone uncomfortable. I haven't been on social media as much lately, but not sure if I was aware of your recent scare? Or maybe my chemo brain deleted it? Glad we are both well. xx

LunaTechChick said...

Hey hey Evelyn! No 3D mammo there yet? Hopefully soon. My mom had a scare right after mine & got a call back on her first 3D...and I'm not so sure some places aren't doing it in an effort to get more money from insurance companies. When did I become so cynical. Thanks so much for sharing with me here! xx

Cancer Curmudgeon said...


LunaTechChick said...